How to Be More Confident With Yourself
In order to better approach this topic, I will say that confidence is something you acquire. It might very well be the best accessory you could ever wear. It says so much about you and makes people feel drawn to you. Confidence is more than a state of mind, it is a way of living. Think of the following points as pieces to a puzzle on how to build confidence.
Your mind is a muscle
Think of your mind as a muscle. The more you strengthen it, the better it will function. Building confidence requires accepting yourself, believing in yourself and ultimately being comfortable with yourself. Self confidence shines bright when you have a positive perspective in life and lots of self esteem. To build your self esteem you must break away from the story that is set in your mind. You must know that you are the author of the story that is your life, and you can always write a different chapter. Know that your confidence looks different than anyone else's. It is tailor made to you and only you.
Every day has a new beginning
Every day has a new beginning, and there is an opportunity every day to start your new chapter, to change your story, and to believe you can create a new and better you.
Guard your thoughts
To build confidence, start with saying “actually, I can.” Believing in yourself is the best gift you can give yourself. Guard your thoughts. Needing approval from anyone else is like saying “your view of me is more important than my own view of myself.” To be more confident, you must know that your worth is found in you and not in the opinions of others.
You must also trust yourself. Remember, trust is earned over a lifetime and lost in an instant. As I said in the beginning, you must work your mind everyday. You must trust yourself everyday, and you must love yourself everyday. Always remember to think of self confidence as the best outfit you can wear.
Growth from Mistakes
“Fall often, fast” is a famous quote that means we should not be afraid of falling, because it means we get to come back and try it again. If we were to fall and dwell on how we fell, why we fell, and who can we blame for our fall, we would be wasting precious time. Instead, we can grow from our mistakes and know that we are meant to fall, just so we can come back and do it all over again, better.
If you fail, never give up. F.A.I.L means First Attempt In Learning. We all have to learn from our mistakes. That's what they are there for, to set a path for us to grow. If we resist, we have growing pains, if we go with the flow, we have wisdom beyond our years.
Once again, this requires us to train ourselves to catch our thoughts and know when to say: “This is a stepping stone in my path. I failed so I can be better.”
Repeating positive statements allows us to train our subconscious to lead our thoughts; our thoughts, at the of the day, are our story.
Mistakes come in all shapes and sizes. How we deal with the story that surrounds the moment in which we live, while we are dealing with the results of our mistakes, makes the difference on how fast we fall and how fast we learn. You want to fall fast and learn fast. The faster you fail at something, the quicker you can learn from your mistake and grow. Time is of the essence.
Everything is Temporary
A key to mental strength is to know and confirm to your mind that everything is temporary. Joy, sorrow, anger, lust, are very powerful feelings. They can all bring you up or bring you down. The key is to know that they all have ONE thing in common…. That is, they are TEMPORARY.
No matter how amazing the moment is, or how devastating it is, it is a moment in time. It can make you grow, it can hurt you, or it can build you up. A moment in time is temporary and the sooner you realize this, the more you can train your brain to pick up on the occurrence of the feelings you have. You can be very aware of how you feel in that moment, but knowing in the back of your mind that it is temporary, allows you to find peace and not despair. We tend as teenagers to find comfort in drama and despair. Our hormones give us some very strong signals and they manage to fuel the thoughts of despair, causing us to feel the world, as we know it, can actually end. I have a BIG SECRET - IT DOESN’T.
Time is only relevant to humans and as humans we must know that time is on our side, if, and only if, we learn how to accept that all was, is, and will be, TEMPORARY.
Law of attraction
When you think positive thoughts, you attract positive experiences. When you learn to see the good in people, you learn that they see you in a positive light.
The easy path in a difficult situation is to resist, confront and/or complain.
We must work every single day to complain less, so more will come. When you do good and you think positive, you attract good and attract positive energy to your life.
You can see life as a treasure chest full of opportunities that you must attract or an old dumpster full of threats that you must deal with. The choice is yours. The law of attraction allows us to turn obstacles into opportunities, threats into challenges and fears into action. Positive thinking will allow you to attract only positive vibes, because you will be in a positive frequency that will allow you to see things with clarity; zero chance for clouds.
Guard your thoughts, guard your words
Commit yourself to think before you speak. Count to ten, count 5,4,3,2,1, whatever system you want to put in place that you believe will work for you. Don’t answer immediately. That is what characterized teenagers (and not so mature adults) as short fused. You must change how you “react” to things, situations, comments, etc. When you control your thinking and control your word, you allow the brain to cool your heart. Instead of reacting to life, you create your life. You don’t jump to answer, you listen, observe and then comment on the situation. It is quite different to have a knee jerk reaction, than to have an evaluated response. Think: react or respond, threat or challenge, impulse or calculated action.
When you learn to respond instead of reacting you will see those around you ease up and change their tune towards you as well. It is a magical formula that simply works.
Your world is too loud, listen to your heart
Lower the radio, listen to the GPS. Sometimes a driver can’t listen to the GPS because the radio is too loud. Just like that, for us as teenagers, our world can be very loud with drama, rules, issues, school work, etc. We must learn to lower the volume that our problems bring so that we can listen to our GPS - our heart. Our heart has the answers, but we can’t hear it because we allow, peer pressure and our problems, play the loud radio in our heads. Take some time each day to spend quiet time with yourself. You have the answers. Allow your inner voice, your heart, to give you the answers. Believe in your inner self. Listen to your inner voice.